|
| December 29,
2003... Coming
Attractions |
Aw, crumbs. I guess I'll
have to retire the Christmas motif now, won't I? I
think I'll keep it around until after my birthday... it's
always tough for me to accept the departure of the holiday
season.
I've been working all night on
the Blitz, but I don't have much to show for it... at least,
not yet. I've finished my half of a special
article celebrating the Vectrex, a game system from the
1980's that's still actively supported by both its fans
and hobbyists, who've designed their own Vectrex games.
I just need to get the other half of the feature from an
old friend of mine and tweak the layout a bit and it'll be
ready to be published.
| December 26, 2003... I
Am the Gorfian
Consciousness |
It's been a while since I've
done any programming, but after several years
of inactivity, I'm starting to get that itch again.
There are a still a lot of games that haven't been ported to
the Game Boy Advance, and it's become glaringly obvious that
the only way those games are going to be translated is if I do
it myself. If I don't get distracted with the site and
other important matters, I may dabble a little with Dragon
BASIC over the weekend. That way, I can determine
if the utility is capable of producing something
like this:
Gorf isn't the ONLY
game I'd like to play on the Game Boy Advance, but it's
pretty high on my list of priorities. In fact, I
think it'd be fantastic in a collection with
Omega
Race, Wizard of
Wor, Solar Fox, Satan's
Hollow, and a handful of other Midway shooters which have yet
to be converted to any modern day game system.
| December 24, 2003... Eve of
Distractions |
On the 11th day of
Christmas, my web site gave to me... a new 26
Hunter page, a link
to this great shooter, and a partridge in a pear
tree.
Here's a little more information
about the aforementioned shooter. It's called Dead Eye,
and it combines the old-school alien annihilation of Galaga
with the challenging point incentives of more recent shoot 'em
ups like Ikaruga. The only flaws I've noticed is that it
gets exceptionally hard (unfair, even) in later stages and
that joystick control is absolutely impossible. Even
handy utilities like JoyToKey don't seem to work with
it. Still, I like it... the level designs are simple but
brilliantly effective, and the same could be said for the
graphics, which combine a colorful starfield with crisply
drawn computer rendered sprites.
| December 22,
2003... Taco
Talk |
Here's something I forgot to
mention in previous updates... a couple of weeks ago, I had
the chance to play an N-Gage, and I didn't think it was
that bad. I was a little disappointed,
actually. After listening to my friends and
countless reviews on the Internet, I expected a game
console that was pulled from the bowels of hell itself,
but the N-Gage is actually kind of impressive. It's the
first phone with games that aren't laughably primitive, and
the first handheld with solid 3D graphics. You
might be able to pull off a game like Pandemonium! on
the Game Boy Advance, but you'd have to push the console to
its limits, or add a DSP to the cartridge, like
Nintendo's old Super FX chip, to make it work.
Having only played one game for
the N-Gage, I can't offer a fully informed opinion of
it. However, from what I've played so far, I find it
tough to hate the machine with the passion that I had
before. Damn you, Nokia!
| December 19, 2003... He
Keeps Going, and Going, and
Going... |
The worst thing about renting
games is that eventually, you have to take them back.
That's not much of a problem if the games you picked
up stink, but when you get a gem like Ratchet and Clank: Going
Commando, it's very hard to let it go. Somehow,
Insomniac has taken an overdone genre and made it fresh and
exciting... they really are to 3D platformers what Pixar has
been to animated movies.
Anyway, there's a new Zoo Logic
comic on the site. I'm happy with the way this one
turned out, even if the subject material is a little
dated. The way I see it, it's NEVER too late to bash
Spike's VGA awards and its smarmy host David Spade.
| December 17,
2003... Half-Hearted |
I was really upset when I'd
first heard that the official release of Half-Life had
been cancelled for the Dreamcast, even though the game
itself was entirely finished. Now that I've played
it, however, I can't say Sierra's decision bothers me all that
much. It's not just the mediocre graphics that turn me
off... it's the insanely complicated control that has become
commonplace in today's first person shooters. Moving
your character requires not only the analog thumbstick and
digital joypad on the front of the Dreamcast controller, but
the face buttons as well, which are used as a surrogate
second joypad. It quickly becomes obvious why games like
Half-Life are more enjoyable on PCs... you really need a
mouse and keyboard to precisely control both your character
and his view of the world around him.
| December 16, 2003... A
Second Look at Mega Man
X7 |
Somehow, I managed to muscle my
way through most of Mega Man X7, even finding all the
pieces of X's Glide Armor. It wasn't easy, but it
did get more fun after I'd found enough hostages and
items to change Axl from a fragile child to an android
powerhouse. I never reached Sigma, but when I consider
how incredibly frustrating he was in previous Mega Man X
games, I suppose I should be thankful I didn't.
Anyway, you'll find a review of
the game here.
I'm also thinking about bringing back Zoo Logic, but if I do,
the comic won't be ready for at least a couple more
days.
| December 11,
2003... Seven's Deadly
Sins |
I've been playing Mega Man X7
over the past couple of days. Since Capcom has
apparently forgotten what is and is not fun, I'll
remind them with this handy list...
|
FUN |
|
Likeable characters
Competant
voice-over acting
Fully controllable camera
angles
Originality
Frequent
checkpoints
Surprising plot
twists | |
|
|
NOT
FUN |
|
Scenes with forced
scrolling
Nearly impossible to target
enemies
Being shoved into pits,
spikes, and lava
Hostages who die before being
rescued
Unending frustration
The predictable
return of
Sigma | |
| December 10,
2003... That's A Big
Tree! |
We're celebrating an Ikaruga
Christmas here at the Blitz. We're not only serving
up a fresh review of the game, but this fun
animation as well...
| December 8,
2003... Like Sand Through the Hourglass (game
reviews) |
And you probably thought I
forgot all about Christmas, huh? Well, that ain't gonna
happen, folks... the most wonderful time of the year is
getting the recognition it deserves on this site.
I've played a few new games
over the weekend... I'm still in the process of writing
reviews for them, but in the meantime, here are some
brief thoughts about all three games:
BLOODY ROAR 4: It's time
to drag this one to the pound and put it out of its misery,
Hudson. The series took a big dip in quality with the
third installment and hasn't been the same since. The
bright, colorful graphics that made the first two games so
appealing have become dark and indistinct, and the brisk
gameplay feels less precise. Worst of all, Hudson has
ignored players' complaints that the animal forms are too
powerful, making them even stronger than before. It's
gotten to the point where playing as a human has become a
liability, rather than a fun challenge. Another
irritating flaw is that the designers keep adding characters
with alternate forms that aren't necessarily animals.
What the hell is a Spurious, anyway? Whatever it is, I'm
pretty sure I've never seen one at a zoo.
PRINCE OF PERSIA: THE SANDS OF
TIME: Yep, I made good on my promise to play this
one. I practically had to try it, because Ubi
Soft's constant advertisements left me overwhelmed with
curiousity. So, is The Sands of Time a worthy sequel to
the original Prince of Persia? Actually, I think it's
BETTER. The first game in the series was infamously
difficult, but the ability to rewind in The Sands of Time
helps reduce its level of frustration and encourages
the player to experiment with their surroundings. The
fighting is more rewarding as well... now, you can fight
multiple enemies at once, and your hero can use his agility as
a weapon against the swarms of foes, rather than just his
sword. Finally, in an unusual twist, The Sands of Time
has better control than the 2D Prince of Persia games, which
felt stiff and demanded careful precision from the
player. The Sands of Time has only one serious
flaw... limited visibility. The playfields are
rather dark and the camera sometimes obscures important
details, making it tough to figure out just where to go
next.
SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS: THE
BATTLE FOR BIKINI BOTTOM: I know what you're thinking...
it's just another crappy Nicktoons game, right? Not this
time. The developers brilliantly captured the silly
fun of the cartoon... The Battle for Bikini Bottom
has all the humor of the popular cartoon series and
even many of the original voices. The
gameplay's not too shabby, either. It reminds me of the
Crash Bandicoot series, except with larger, less
restrictive playfields that give Spongebob and his
friends more freedom of movement.
I also tried the demo version of
Go! Go! Hypergrind. Ren and Stimpy creators Spümco
and extreme skateboarding seem like an odd
combination, but I'm pleased to say that it works surprisingly
well. The game plays very much like Tony Hawk's Pro
Skater, but in addition to doing tricks, you can guide your
character into cartoony hazards which spindle, fold, and
mutilate them. You're actually ENCOURAGED to do this, as
the injuries increase the points you'll receive from tricks
until your skater recovers. The most shocking thing
about this game is the artwork... the cel-shading in Go!
Go! Hypergrind actually has the intended effect of making the
graphics vibrant and cartoony. Spümco also did a
fantastic job with the character design, particularly the
animals which really stand out. I'm not sure what to
think about the Johnson Brothers, a pair of stacked together
siblings with phallic noses, but I can't really complain, as
they're still infinitely more tasteful than those awful new
episodes of Ren and Stimpy.
| December 5,
2003... Hard
Sell |
Dear readers, allow me to make
you an offer. I've got two Working Designs RPGs which
I'd like to sell... Alundra and Lunar: Silver Star Story
Complete, both for the original Playstation. Both games
include every disc, and all the discs are in good,
working condition. The only things missing are Lunar's
instruction manual and silly promotional items like the
Nall plush toy, which former Working Designs employee Zach
Meston will tell you makes a better dog chew toy
anyway.
If you'd like to make a
reasonable offer for either of these games, send me an
e-mail and we'll discuss details like pricing and
shipping.
Oh yeah... there's just one more
thing. Anyone who's still dancing to the Saikyo groove
will be happy to know that I've refreshed the Dan Hibiki
tribute page. I noticed that the move list in Saikyo
Crusher wasn't entirely accurate, and that the joystick
motions for each move were somewhat difficult to read,
so I fixed the errors I'd made earlier and replaced the
text with more intuitive arrows.
If you'd like to thank me, make
me an offer on those games!
| December 2, 2003... Square
vs. Spy |
I don't know how I missed this
one, but I heard that Insert Credit and Square-Enix
clashed over an unauthorized video of Final Fantasy
XII. Insert Credit staffer Tim Rogers had taped footage
of the game against Square's wishes, then snuck it out of a
trade show and shared it with the rest of the world. In
retaliation, Square sent a legal notice to Insert Credit,
warning them (in the kind of clumsy English only an SNK fan
could love) to remove the footage from their site. The
editor of Insert Credit eventually complied,
but not before having a little fun with the letter he
received, inviting his readers to make Photoshopped parodies
of it.
So what's my take on all
this? Even though I'm a much bigger fan of Insert Credit
than I am of Square or Enix, I think Tim should have respected
Square's request and just kept his camera off. I don't
really have any complaints about Insert Credit's making fun of
Square's cease and desist letter, however. I can't count
how many times people have done this with poorly translated
video games, so why is it suddenly so wrong now? All of the
hopelessly obsessed Square fans out there really need to learn
to take a joke, rather than taking offense whenever their
sacred cow is tarnished.
| December 1,
2003... GameCube Review
Spectacular! |
I went to Lansing over the
weekend to visit some of my friends, and the trip did me
a world of good. It not only lifted my spirits, but it
gave me a chance to do a little catching up with the
GameCube, a system I hadn't played since Super Mario Sunshine
was released almost a year ago. I gave nearly a half
dozen games a test drive, and although I didn't play any of
them long enough to write full reviews, I can confidently
share my first impressions of them here...
IKARUGA: Is Ikaruga really
a sequel to Treasure's groundbreaking Saturn game Radiant
Silvergun? There's really no wrong answer to this
question. Although Ikaruga is heavily inspired by
Treasure's first vertically scrolling shooter, it features
play mechanics that make it an entirely different
experience. Switching your ship's color from light
to dark and back is as necessary as firing if you want to
survive... in fact, you may want to play a couple of games
without shooting at all just to get used to the concept.
While Ikaruga is certainly one of Treasure's better games, it
seems somewhat bland in comparison to Radiant
Silvergun... you've only got one weapon and the graphics are
rather drab.
MARIO KART DOUBLE DASH:
Mario Kart is back, and this time, you can bring a friend
along for the ride rather than just racing against them.
Putting two characters in the same kart was a novel idea, but
it doesn't seem to change the gameplay much... in fact, you'll
rarely get the opportunity to switch drivers. Despite
this, Double Dash is every bit as good as the other Mario Kart
games, and it looks better than ever thanks to the
GameCube's advanced hardware. Another nice touch is
that anyone hit with a weapon will drop any items they're
holding, giving the player even more incentive to steer clear
of turtle shells and other road hazards.
P.N. 03: This was one of
the games, along with Killer 7 and the critically acclaimed
Viewtiful Joe, that Capcom had started developing last year in
the hopes of creating popular new franchises. While
I have to give them credit for exploring new ideas, they would
have been better off making another Mega Man sequel than
releasing this silly action game. Product Number 03, or
P.N. 03 for short, manages to be even more ridiculous and
sexist than the worst Tomb Raider game thanks to its main
character, a dancing queen with skintight spandex that leaves
nothing to the imagination. Although the action looks
stylish, it's just not much fun because the control is so
weak... you'll often find yourself cartwheeling INTO your
enemies' laser fire rather than away from it. This
product should have been recalled, because it's clearly
defective.
WARIO WORLD: Since he was
introduced in Super Mario Land 2 over ten years ago, Mario's
demented evil twin has starred in a lot of games. Nearly
all of them have been refreshingly innovative, but
Wario World is missing the creative spark we've come to expect
from Wario games. It's a simplistic side-scrolling beat
'em up with platforming elements... sometimes, you'll need to
press switches to unlock secret rooms, but most of the time
you'll just be punching and piledriving swarms of
dinosaurs. I've heard that Treasure was responsible for
this game, but it doesn't match their modus operendi... I
would have expected something more clever from
them.
I also played a few games of the
recent Neo-Geo fighter Rage of the Dragons, and I was
surprised at how much I enjoyed it. I didn't think the
game was anything special when I'd first tried it,
but after challenging a friend (namely, GRB staffer
Carl Schafer) to a couple of matches, I'm seeing Rage of
the Dragons in a whole new
light.
| November 26,
2003... Viewtiful
Bundy |
The Dan Hibiki tribute page has been
updated! Special thanks go to Kao Megura for his
assistance.
I don't have much else to say, so I'll just wish
all my readers a happy Thanksgiving. Oh wait, there IS
one other thing I wanted to get off my chest. Does
Viewtiful Joe remind anyone else of Bud Bundy, the sarcastic,
sex-crazed teen from Married... With Children? I sure
get that Rapmaster B vibe from him whenever he's not wearing
his
spandex.
| November 24,
2003... Whose Pac-Man Is It,
Anyway? |
I've moved into my new apartment, and I'm
getting used to it... but my computer hasn't. It's been
acting up lately, giving me general protection faults errors
and freezing during the boot up process. It looks like
I'll have to take it into work and figure out just what the
trouble is, because I have an unsettling feeling that it will
only get worse if the problem goes
unresolved.
Anyway, I was just thinking... there's still a
lot of confusion as to who created the Pac-Man series, thanks
largely to Midway's taking all the credit for them back in the
early 1980's. Look at any Pac-Man arcade machine
manufactured during that time and you won't find a single
mention of Namco, despite the fact that it was actually the
company that created the game. Now that Namco's
distributing Pac-Man worldwide, they should clear up the
confusion that Midway had created by putting stickers on the
fronts of all those old Pac-Man arcade
machines.
Don't mind me... I'm just babbling.
Anyway, there's new content on Advance Theory and a full
review of SNK vs. Capcom: SVC Chaos on the review page.
Check it
out!
| November 18,
2003... Catch-A-Sketch |
I'm currently preoccupied with moving so you
won't see many updates from me this week. Fortunately, I
do have a special treat that ought to keep the delays a little
more, er, bearable... a guest drawing of Byron from Kiken, the
editor of Dodge the Bullet. By the way, DtB is a really
cool site if you're into shooters... Kiken concentrates on a
single game and offers all the information you could possibly
want about it, including pictures, replays, and a detailed
review.
| November 15,
2003... Double Your
Pleasure |
My recommendation for the day is Double Dragon
Advance, Atlus's resurrection of the wildly popular
fighting game from the 80's. Once you start playing, it
quickly becomes obvious that this isn't just a straight port
of the original arcade title. Double Dragon Advance
borrows ideas from the previous games in the series to offer
the player more rounds, more characters, and more
technique.
I was never a big Double Dragon fan... I always
preferred Final Fight for its bigger, brighter graphics and
faster gameplay. However, Atlus improved the game so
much when they brought it to the Game Boy Advance that I can't
help but recommend it over the relatively untouched Final
Fight
One.
| November 13,
2003... Worlds Collide (or just clumsily
bump into each
other) |
I've finally played SNK vs. Capcom. As I
mentioned earlier on my Livejournal, it's a solid game, but
nothing exceptional... if you already own Capcom vs SNK 2
there's no reason to spend three hundred dollars on
this. However, it does finally give me a reason to
update the Dan Hibiki tribute page. I'll start work on
that once I get permission from one-time contributor Kao
Megura to use portions of his SNK vs. Capcom move list on the
site.
Before I go, I've got a question for SNK.
Why has Bao suddenly taken up residence inside Hugo's
hair!?
| November 11,
2003... Roots |
The great thing about this hobby is that no
matter how much you THINK you know, there's always something
new to learn. For instance, did you know that the
popular party game Bomberman first debuted in 1983, several
years before the NES version was released? Furthermore,
the plump little robots everyone's come to associate with the
series are nowhere to be found in the original game.
Heck, there isn't even a versus mode! However, it does
share one thing in common with the later games in the
series... the bombs. They're pretty much the same as you
remember them, still spreading fire in four directions and
still dangerous to the player if they're carelessly dropped
onto the
playfield.
Here's another big surprise. The
underappreciated but always fun to play Buster Bros. series
wasn't originally conceived by Capcom... Hudson came up with
its basic play mechanics for a computer game called Cannon
Ball, also released in 1983. I'm not sure how Capcom got
its hands on the rights to this game, but it was probably for
the best, as Buster Bros. is a great deal more advanced and
fun to play than the game that inspired
it.
Finally, it appears that Fatal Fury may not be
the first game in the long-running South Town series after
all. Prior to the creation of the Neo-Geo, SNK dipped
its toe into the fighting game genre with Street Smart.
It doesn't look like the game has anything in common with
Fatal Fury, but listen to the soundtrack and you'll hear more
than a few similarities. Here's the first round theme
song from Street Smart, and the South Beach theme from Fatal
Fury. They're pretty much the same, huh? It makes
me wonder if there are any OTHER ties between both games that
we may have
missed...
| November 6,
2003... Dream Theater (brief arcade game
reviews) |
Well, I'm back from a two day seminar on
cellular phones. That doesn't sound especially
exciting... and quite frankly, it wasn't. However, since
the seminar took place in a movie theatre, I got to play some
great games in its arcade on my lunch and coffee breaks.
Games
like:
SIMPSONS PINBALL PARTY: Oh, what a
difference ten years makes! The first pinball game with
the Simpsons license, released in the early 90's by Data East,
was based on early episodes of the series, so like them, it
wasn't that funny... well, unless you just couldn't get enough
of Bart saying "Eat My Shorts". Furthermore, the
gameplay didn't really heat up until you activated the
multiball feature. Fortunately, Simpsons Pinball Party
has more targets, more characters, and more of the humor
people have come to expect from newer episodes of the
show. My only gripe is with the game's merciless
difficulty. I witnessed and personally experienced a
half dozen drainers that occured less than ten seconds after
the ball was put into play. Also, the playfield is
perhaps a little too extravagantly designed for its own good,
with a secondary LED display and a large bust of Homer that
rotates jerkily whenever the ball hits it. The only
thing these doodads really enhance is the price, which is why
you'll be very lucky to find this table anywhere other than a
exorbitantly priced theatre in a big city like Grand
Rapids.
ZERO GUNNER 2: Psikyo's known for its
shooters... but it's also known for well-intentioned but
flawed play mechanics. This overhead shooter, featuring
a trio of helicopters which can spin to face their enemies
head-on, is a perfect example. The concept had
potential, but most of that potential is ruined due to a
limited control system that cheats the player out of the
precision they need to battle the swarms of jets and towering
bosses. You have to hold a button to turn your
helicopter, and while you're turning, you can't dodge bullets
or attack. If the designers had included a dial
controller or extra joysticks, Zero Gunner 2 would have been a
lot more fast-paced and fun. Without them, this shooter
is too awkward to enjoy
fully.
STAR WARS TRILOGY: This is an older title
by Sega that tries to capture all the exciting scenes from the
first three (or should I say last three?) Star Wars
films. That's a lot to ask from just one game, and it
becomes more and more clear as you continue to play that the
designers couldn't handle it all. The first round is
fantastic... it's a polygonal redesign of the original Star
Wars arcade game with a heart pounding conclusion inside the
trench of the Death Star. The second round, however,
lacks the urgency of the first, and throws in a scenerio
that's like Virtua Cop but with 100% more Stormtroopers and
100% fewer light guns. The next round is a frustrating
forest run on a Lightspeeder which drains your energy quickly
with constant tree collisions and attacks from the always
present Stormtroopers. If you can survive (or have
enough quarters), you'll move on to a climactic sword battle
with a beautifully rendered Darth Vader, which somehow makes
the annoyance of the previous two rounds worthwhile.
Overall, it's a pretty good game, but a little too
ambitious. It's tough enough to get all the action from
ONE Star Wars film into a video game, let alone
three.
| November 3,
2003... Six Degrees of
Separation |
I can't think of much to rant about right now,
so I hope you'll be satisfied with the six new reviews I just
posted on the Game Boy Advance page. Hopefully I'll have
an update for tomorrow that's a little less half-assed than
this
one.
| October 31,
2003... Long Live the King (or, Atlus
Shrugged) |
It's Halloween, so let me drop
this tasty treat into your bag. The next Game Boy
Advance version of The King of Fighters will be released
in the United States, but not by Acclaim as was
previously reported. Once they realized that it
didn't suck the way the first game had, Acclaim
passed the American distribution rights to Atlus, a game
developer more worthy of the license. That means you'll
be able to buy the US version of King of Fighters EX 2
without feeling guilty about supporting a company that will
use your money to torture gamers with more Turok
sequels.
| October 30,
2003... That Ain't
Spiffy |
After burning a half dozen discs and
playing twice as many emulators, I've come to the conclusion
that emulation on the Dreamcast is more of a novelty
than anything else. It's a great opportunity for
hobbyist programmers to demonstrate their skills, creating
software on an outdated game system with few development
tools. Unfortunately, it's not always as fun to
play these emulators as it is to design them. Older
systems like the NES and ColecoVision play beautifully on the
Dreamcast, but anything more advanced is slow, slow,
slow. In addition to that, the menus in many of these
emulators are needlessly cryptic, forcing you to hold down
combinations of buttons to access some features.
Unless you absolutely,
positively have to play video games on a video game
system, you're better off sticking with your PC for
emulation. It's faster, easier to use, and compatible
with a wider range of games.
| October 29,
2003... Ain't That
Sbiffy? |
Your eyes do not deceive you... I've
brought back Zoo Logic, starting with this special Halloween
episode inspired by (what else?) Castlevania: Symphony of the
Night. If you don't get the joke, play the game for a
while, and it'll all come into focus.
Here's some advice for all your
aspiring Dreamcast disc makers out there... Sbiffy!
makes the process a whole lot
easier, but you'll still want to pay close attention to the
directions included with every emulator and homemade game you
download, lest you be left with a spindle full of wasted
CDs. The discs themselves may run on
the Dreamcast, but that doesn't mean any of the
games on them will. Don't learn this the hard way...
read those README files!
| October 27,
2003... I'm Interested in
This |
I'd say it was time for a new review...
and I'm not talking about one of those crappy little ones at
the bottom of the page! It shouldn't be too
tough to guess what I'll be reviewing, since it's almost
Halloween and I've been expressing my undying devotion to one
game in particular over the past week. However, I think
you'll really enjoy this review, even if you're not especially
surprised by it. Click here to read all
about Konami's fantastic Castlevania: Symphony of the
Night.
| October 24,
2003... Sony's Loss is Your Gain. Okay,
MY Gain... |
It's been reported that Sony has lost
millions of dollars this year, due in large part to its
Playstation 2 game system selling below expectations.
Respected analysts have predicted that this will have a
profound negative effect on not only Sony, but the
entire video game industry as well.
So why is this man, a devoted fan of
video games since the days
of Pong, smiling?
It's because he thinks the effects of
Sony's losses will ultimately be good for the industry.
Third parties like Acclaim, which have survived by paying
millions of dollars for hot movie licenses and attaching them
to lackluster games, will no longer be able to afford these
properties, forcing them to either improve the quality of
their software or go out of business. And Sony, which
has become increasingly arrogant and ineffectual over the
past eight years, will finally be forced to take
their customers and licensees more seriously.
Sony's policies on content will become less restrictive,
allowing third parties to release great games like Metal Slug
3 and King of Fighters 2001. Best of all, Sony's losses
will make the playing field more level for competitors like
Nintendo and Microsoft.
Don't listen to the naysayers. We
as gamers only stand to benefit from Sony's losses.
| October 23,
2003... Jess's LiveJournal
Debut |
I've got a LiveJournal now! If
you just don't get enough Jess on this web site, you'll
find even more of my bombastic opinions here...
http://www.livejournal.com/users/mneko
I just started the journal yesterday,
so the layout's a little plain... I hope you're not
expecting a slick background or cute emoticons that
express my every waking emotion. That stuff's
going to have to wait until I'm a little more familiar with
LiveJournal and how it works.
Well, enough about me. I've got
good news for everyone who's still fiercely loyal to their
Dreamcasts. There haven't been any new games released
for the system, but you can still play plenty of old
ones, thanks to the emulators on this site...
http://imrtechnology.ngemu.com/emulators.htm
| October 22,
2003... Oh
Brother |
It's no secret that I like bears, so it
should be equally unsurprising that I had looked
forward to Disney's next animated movie, Brother
Bear. However, if the early reviews I've read are any
indication, I'd probably be better off just taking my
seven dollars to the nearest zoo. According to the
critics who've seen it (as of this writing there's only been a
small handful), the movie is so politically correct that it
makes all humans- even American Natives!- look like villains
for hunting animals, even going so far as to refer to them as
"monsters". Oh, puuuuhleeease. While I certainly
agree that it's selfish and wrong to kill a bear just to add a
conversation piece to the center of your living room, it's a
different matter entirely when you're freezing your ass off in
northern Canada and nobody's invented cotton-polyester blend
sweaters yet.
I've also become increasingly
annoyed with the two moose in the film, who Disney has groomed
to become their next wacky animal mascots (I'm
guessing that a crappy television cartoon is just around
the corner for them...). Michael Eisner's trying to pass
them off as clever new characters, when the truth is that
they're just half-baked copies of the McKensie Brothers from
SCTV, even sharing the voices of Rick Moranis and Dave (not
the burger guy) Thomas. If you're thinking of watching
this emotionally manipulative, bleeding heart drivel just for
these two characters, do yourself a favor and listen to the
McKensie brothers' 12 Days of Christmas on Dr. Demento
instead. You'll save yourself a fistful of dollars, and
more importantly, your pride.
| October 20,
2003... Sym-tax Error (Symphony of the Night
observations) |
I'm falling in love with Castlevania:
Symphony of the Night all over again. I had
the Saturn version of this game a few years ago, but the
Playstation release is like a whole new experience. The
special effects are noticably better, with unique death
animations for nearly every enemy and a light sprinkling of
polygons that enhance both the background scenery
and your foes' attacks. In addition to that,
the English text and dialogue makes the game easier to
enjoy... you never have to guess which weapon does what or
where the storyline is headed, because the game always
makes every detail perfectly clear. While it's
true that the Saturn version of Symphony of the Night has
a couple of extras you won't find on the Playstation, the
inclusion of a hauntingly beautiful courtyard garden and the
ability to play as Maria Renard doesn't make up for
everything the Saturn version is missing.
There is one slightly odd thing about
Symphony of the Night on the Playstation, though...
specifically, the font. I like the Commodore VIC-20 as
much as the next guy, but why'd Konami choose to put its
character set into the game rather than a font that better
fits the mood? I kept thinking the dialogue between
Richter and Dracula in the first stage was going to devolve
into something like this...
| October 17,
2003... I Can't Bear to
Look! |
Eduardo's at it again! The man
from Opcode, anxious to release another great ColecoVision
game, has started porting titles from the MSX computer.
His first choice is Sky Jaguar, a Konami shooter with the
intensity and variety that's often lacking in similar
ColecoVision games. He's hinted at even bigger and
better things in the future, but he hasn't gone into
specifics, other than mentioning the possibility of an
expansion pack similar to the one Coleco themselves had
planned to release... before introducing the ill-fated ADAM
computer instead.
Well, I've started drawing again.
I'm slowly regaining confidence in my artwork, and I'm
dabbling with different art styles, hoping to improve my
technique. In this drawing, I've borrowed ideas from a
famous animation studio to give both Clyde and Byron an old
school look. However, I don't they're as happy with the
results as I was...
| October 16,
2003... This Post is Rated
AO |
Updates are going to be less and less
frequent over the next few weeks... I'm looking for an
apartment right now, and that demands my full and immediate
attention. Everything else in my life is going to
have to take a backseat until I've found a place to live
and the funding necessary to afford it.
So... have you heard about
Rockstar's latest game, Manhunt? If not,
you're gonna loooove this. It stars a
convicted murderer who's rescued from death row to make
snuff films. Yeah, really. It sounds like one of
those silly video game parodies on The Simpsons, but the sad
thing is, unlike Larry the Looter, this is for real.
What's even worse is that some people I've talked to
(specifically, the very dumb ones) are actually looking
FORWARD to this morally bankrupt sludge. I can't help
but hope that those people eagerly run home to play the game
the day it's released, only to
discover that Rockstar's pre-release information was
bogus and that Manhunt is actually the first gay porn
video game released in the United States.
| October 13,
2003... Fine Connecticut
Leather |
All right, that takes care of the
ColecoVision
pages! Hopefully, I'll finish up the 2600 page in a
couple of days. I wish I had time to add some new
content, but I spent most of the weekend just formatting
the ColEx, so that'll
have to wait for later.
| October 11,
2003... Unlicensed to
Kill |
I think I'll do some maintenence on the
site over the weekend. I'm looking at a couple of
pages (specifically the 26 Hunter and Colecotosis)
and their layouts could stand to be improved.
There's only so much pink and green you can look at before
your eyes start begging for mercy.
I've heard that SNK's having difficulty
convincing Sony to let them release Metal Slug 3 for the
Playstation 2. My question is this... why does Sony even
have to be part of the equation? Companies have
made unlicensed games for popular systems before, you
know. If Sony's going to be so unreasonable about
what gets released for their precious Playstation 2, maybe
it's time for someone to find a way to make games for the
system... with or without Sony's permission.
| October 9,
2003... The Editor Discovers Genesis
Emulation |
I just earned a whole new appreciation
for the emulator Gens. Not only does it play standard
Genesis games, but it has support for the 32X and Sega CD
as well. I recently found a copy of Wonder Dog at a pawn
shop for a buck. I no longer have a Sega CD, but thanks
to Gens I can still enjoy this game and others for
ridiculously low prices. When the demand for Sega CD
games is so low, it's easy for anyone to collect them, even if
they're on a limited budget.
Now, if only someone would whip up a
Saturn emulator that's as reliable as Gens, I'd be a very
happy man.
| October 8,
2003... California
Dreamin' |
Yikes! I didn't realize the
California Raisins page had formatting
problems until I examined it on another PC with
a higher resolution... and oh man, were there ever
problems! It should look much better now,
though.
In other California news, the state has
a new governor. Predictably, Democrats are
already lamenting Arnold Swartznegger's election as the
defeat of democracy. I guess I just don't follow that
logic. The people of California weren't happy with their
governor. They asked for a new one, and they got their
wish. The will of the people was served... and that's
what democracy is all about.
| October 7,
2003... Toy Vey (or, Microsoft talks smack
about Nintendo) |
I suppose I shouldn't be at all
surprised by Microsoft's arrogance these days, but a quote in
a recent issue of EGM nevertheless floored me. One
of the marketing directors behind the XBox had the nerve
to claim that Nintendo wasn't keeping pace with the
digital revolution and that the company was ultimately
just a toy maker. Heh, those are big words from a
company making software that just barely qualifies as
entertainment. Let's face facts, people... the only fun
anyone gets from an XBox is by hacking it to play games that,
mercifully, have nothing to do with Microsoft. Bill
Gates and his cronies still haven't come to accept this, but
when you've got billions of dollars to waste on a system that
would have led a smaller company straight to the poorhouse,
you can afford to be in denial.
Anyway, we have a winner in the
California Raisins contest. You'll find the results of
the competition here.
| October 6,
2003... Feel the Burn (also, racism
in video games) |
My apologies for the unexpected
hiatus. I took my computer into the repair store where I
work to have it upgraded. Unfortunately, things didn't
go so well. The new chip my boss had given me burned
itself out shortly after it had been inserted into my
computer. Luckily for me, none of the other
components were damaged, leaving me in what I like to
call a "negative gain" situation. I couldn't put any
extra horsepower under the hood of my machine, but
at the same time, I didn't ruin it and the trashed chip
didn't cost me a dime. So I'm a little
disappointed, yet at the same time relieved. It's much
better to have a computer that works than to be left with
nothing at all.
Enough about that... I should probably
talk about the newest articles on The Gameroom Blitz,
since that's what you're here to see. I dragged my feet
for a while on this one, but at long last, Tony Bueno's column
on racism in video games is up and ready to read. I was
slightly hesitant to publish this. Don't get
me wrong; Tony did a fine job with the article, but
starting an open dialogue on race relations in this country is
about as wise as holding a sumo wrestling match in the center
of a minefield.
In addition to that, I personally don't
feel that the cheesy stereotypes in most video games are all
that harmful. It's certainly possible to take
things too far, as the bowl-haired martial artist and
Chinese restaurant owner in Clay Fighter 63 1/3rd
proved. However, I thought that the silly charicatures
in Punch Out!! were more entertaining than hateful or
insulting... and Nintendo wisely chose to poke fun at nearly
every culture, including their own. Perhaps I'm being
insensitive, but it's ridiculous that people are expected
to accept and respect the differences of other
cultures, only to be viciously attacked when
they dare to point out that these differences
exist.
Off that touchy subject, the Fallen
Angels strategy guide has been updated thanks in large part to
Charlie Malekzandi, who supplied The Gameroom Blitz with a
wealth of information about the game. Thanks,
Charlie! Everyone at the Blitz appreciates your help...
especially those of us who were going mad trying to figure out
how to perform all of Cool and Yuiran's super
moves.
One thing you're NOT going to see
updated for a while is the comic. Over the past year,
I've felt the confidence in my artwork drain away... it's
gotten to the point where I can barely stand to look at
anything I've drawn. I need to take a
break, reconsider my drawing style, and try something
new, because what I'm doing now just isn't working out for
me. I'm not saying that I'll never publish another comic
on the site again, but there is a good chance that Zoo
Logic will be an entirely different animal when it
returns.
Just one more thing... I'll
be judging the California Raisins contest entries in
a couple of days. If you haven't gotten your entry in by
now, that's your own tough luck and sour
grapes. |
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